Cuddly Atheism

Were you born to atheist parents and never went to the dark side? Were you raised in a harsh church and decided it wasn’t for you? Did you decide science was awesome and it conflicted with religion? I’ll share my story if you will.

I was raised Methodist. It wasn’t bad at all. It was all singing and hugging and no negative, but I had doubts early. At age six, I asked god if he was really really real. He didn’t respond. So I got some cards out. I said to god, “if you’re there, god, this card will be red.” It wasn’t. I repeated this experiment with no good results. I was skeptical. I asked my mother, “if god is jesus’s daddy, then who is god’s daddy?” She couldn’t answer me. Again, a skeptical moment for me. Then I wrote this letter.

It didn’t happen. Also, isn’t it funny that I posted a business phone number for god at age six? What was I thinking? I guess I really wanted him to contact me wherever I was. I should have added my playground, my school, my grandparents’ house, etc.. Ah, well. It didn’t work. Nothing ever happened. At age six I was a confirmed atheist but I hid it.

At age 13 I came out to my mother and she was livid. I think it broke her heart and I’m sorry for it. But at that age, I had been studying science and science (especially evolution) contradicted religion. I tried to explain that to her but she was too upset to hear it. It’s probably a real blow to parents. So I pretended to be a Christian for a long time afterwards. I finally came out as an atheist (again) in my late 20′s. Everyone I know was dismayed. I lived in Mississippi at the time, so it’s to be expected (but not for long I hope!).

Now I’m out and proud of it. I love science which leads me to atheism.

Now YOUR turn. How did you come to atheism?

You’ll probably hate me for this, but….

The first rule of Elevatorgate is don’t talk about Elevatorgate, unless there are lols involved, and there aren’t many lols. The reason to shut your mouth? You alienate people on one side or the other. You burn bridges. With napalm. I happen to be friends with Rebecca Watson and I respect Richard Dawkins, so I don’t talk about Elevatorgate. I would hate to speak up and mistakenly offend Rebbeca and ruin our friendship or offend Dawkins and have him burn me with his eye lasers. It’s true I’ve called him a dick in the past for passively accepting that his group awarded Bill Maher for his movie. It’s true later he said unpleasant things about Maher so … my bad. Sorry, Dawkins.

So, why are we talking so much about Elevatorgate? It’s nothing. I should rephrase that. It should be nothing. By gabbing about it, you’re fueling it and it’s snowballing into this big monster ball of OH MY FUCK. Shut it, already. I know feminism is at stake, but it shouldn’t be. Elevatorgate is ruining feminism. I can’t call myself a feminist because I don’t know how feminism is currently defined. Thanks, Elevatorgate. You’re doing a great job. This isn’t about Rebecca Watson or Richard Dawkins. It’s about all the bloggers going on and on about it and it’s bilge. People are still talking about it, for fuck’s sake. Good grief. Grow up and get over yourself.

Paul Hoffmaster contacted me. This illustrates my point.

Why I’m an atheist, the answer is easy. Why Not?

My first loves of science were astronomy and dinosaurs, nothing unusual for a kid. I would get any of the few books we had at the grade school library and would read the death out of them. Now this was the mid 50’s and a lot has been learned about these subjects since then. They were very clueless to what killed off the dinosaurs and the astronomy hadn’t found the big bang’s background radiation yet. There was and still is a lot to learn about just those two areas of science.

So, why did I became an atheist, well it wasn’t that I became one, I just never really bought into the god of the bible to begin with especially the son part of it. In reading those science books, not once did they go on saying anything about or against any god, nothing was written one way or another about it. The books only were on what was learned far at that time. Just the information was given and any ideas of what that information may mean, but nothing on any religion or any god. There was no axe to grind unlike the religious. It was what the religious people (many in my family) that would say this things were wrong without anything in their defend outside of using the bible, and that made me think that it was them that had problems and not the reality that was in the science books. If I would speak of dinosaurs it was them would deny that they ever existed, because it would weaken their idea of a god and their self importance in the scheme of things. And the size and age of the universe that really was a real big blow to their ideas of a god. My answer to them would be (if I wasn’t so young at the time) that they should change their idea about the deity of theirs or just drop it altogether, now there is a dream.

Not long after this time came the space race, I was so happy with that. I thought, a childish one I know now, that this would get more people to rethink their ideas about the bible god. As I learned, the older people by and large miss seeing anything that was not as they wanted it to be. New information going in and old ideas still coming out.

Now look at all that has been added to our knowledge since then, and still we have people with their heads in the sand still wanting it to be all about them and their idea of a god. I wish I had an answer for this, but I guess death is a powerful fear to fight.

Science is great!

Here’s my Twitter. Here’s my Facebook page. Here’s my photography blog and my photography site. And contact me at porphyros.petal@gmail.com. I have a phone number, too, but you’ll have to contact me first and convince me you’re halal.

Cuddles,
Kate

Fortunately, there’s actually some to talk about.

Kate’s INR was an 8 this morning, so we’re moving in the right direction. They have started giving her Vitamin K, which thickens blood, so we’re not just sitting around waiting for the levels to drop. This should speed up getting her out of there.

Also, since she’s in the same hospital at which we will be doing speech therapy, they went ahead and sent a therapist to her room today. The session lasted about thirty minutes, and Kate said, “It was good,” and smiled. I have mentioned before that her attitude will be a huge part of the recovery, and thus far she has been very upbeat about the therapy. She’s really eager to get back.

Finally, in sort of unrelated news, I handed the keys back to our old landlord today. I won’t bore you with the details, but leaving the old apartment is a good thing, yea, verily.

Kate is back in the hospital. I have not previously mentioned this, but she is on coumadin, a blood thinner, because she has a mechanical heart valve. Today her INR was a 7.5, which is way too high. If you know what INR is, skip the next paragraph.

In short, INR is a measure of the thinness of blood. The higher the number, the thinner the blood. In most people, the INR should be between 0.8 and 1.2. Those with a mechanical heart valve need thinner blood, as the valve increases the risk of clots leading to stroke (quite possibly what happened to Kate in the first place). Kate’s supposed to be between 2.5 and 3.5, so 7.5 is obviously way off the chart.

She was ordered to the hospital, where they checked her blood again. This second check was about 3 hours after the first. Her INR was a 10. Her blood is basically water at this point. Any scratch is a serious issue, and a cut would be life-threatening, so we’re here until they can get it under control. The ER doc had no clue how INR could raise that much that quickly. I’m hoping someone can give me some ideas soon, but we probably won’t see another doctor until morning.

Before I sign off, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has commented, here or elsewhere, particularly those of you who have included personal stories of recovery from similar situations. I know I should put more trust in the science and statistics than in anecdotes, and intellectually, I do; emotionally, though, reading of you or your loved ones’ recoveries helps enormously. Kate reads them, too, and I catch her smiling, so please keep the support coming.

Finally, special thanks to Matt Lowry, the Skeptical Teacher, who joined Hemant Mehta and Heidi Anderson in reposting my former entry.

This is Kate’s husband, Jay, again. My last post was a bit short on information. It’s been a bit of a hectic week. We are now home fro the hospital, and resting comfortably in our own bed again.

To recap, Kate had a stroke on 19 November and as a result now has Broca’s aphasia. Broca’s aphasia is what is known as an expressive aphasia. It limits her ability to express the ideas in her head, whether in speech or in writing. She is still “all there”; she just has extreme difficulty in communicating. As you can well imagine, this is extremely frustrating, particularly for someone so rightly proud of her communication skills as Kate. She has shown some improvement over the last week, and I am also getting better at interpreting her.

There are two pieces of hopeful news. Strokes cause swelling in the brain as well as damage, both of which can lead to impairment. As the swelling goes down over the next two to three weeks, any impairment due to the swelling, as opposed to damage, should spontaneously reverse. Significant improvement is likely, though not certain, soon.

Also, Broca’s aphasia is generally quite responsive to speech therapy. She met with a therapist in the hospital a few times last week, and seemed to really enjoy her sessions. Monday, I will call the speech therapy clinic to set her up on an outpatient schedule. The therapy will last up to a year, depending on how well and how quickly her communicative abilities return.

Many people over the course of the last week have asked me what they can do to help, and several have asked to send money. A lovely friend at the JREF Forums is taking up donations on our behalf at her site. Be sure to indicate in the comments why you are sending her money, or she might just spend it on hookers and blow. If you decide to do this, know that we are very grateful.

Far more important than any amount of money, though, is support and encouragement. From everything I’ve read or heard from doctors and therapists this week, the effectiveness of speech therapy will be highly influenced by Kate’s attitude. Right now, she is very upbeat and excited, but it will be a long and frustrating process. Any little words of encouragement you could leave would be worth their weight in baby tears.

Thanks for reading, and thanks especially to Hemant Mehta and Heidi Anderson, who have graciously agreed to repost this.

Hey all, this is Jay, the Cuddly Atheist’s husband. Last Friday, Kate suffered a stroke in the left hemisphere, which left her with Broca’s aphasia and a loss of mobility on her right side. The mobility has largely returned, but her speech and writing will take more time and a lot of therapy. It’s been a rough week for us, but she gets better every day, and I’m sure she’ll be back soon to dazzle us all.